Thursday, January 13, 2011

The end is coming?

When Jane was born my Dad asked for a picture a day, and I thought it was a great idea so I made this blog.  I haven't gotten every day, especially for the last few months when I decided to stop stressing out so much about missing days.  Still, this post is #318, so I haven't been doing too bad.

When Jane was four months old the picture-a-day things was really wearing on me, and I asked, "How long should I keep this up?" thinking that people might say six months.  So when my mom said, "At least a year!" I heaved a sigh and kept taking pictures.  So now we're coming up on Jane's first birthday, and I am fantasizing about stopping the daily pictures, retiring this blog, and putting any new pictures I take on our family blog.

How luxurious, to go through my days and not have to think, "Now, did I take a picture today?"  To only have to look for the camera when Jane is doing something new or particularly cute.  But at the same time, the thought makes me really sad.  When I look at Jane and think, "Where did the days go?  How did she get so big?" I grab the computer and scroll back through this year and I can see each day, how she slowly changed from an itty bitty lump to the lumbering body of chaos that she is today.

While I love having that, the thought of continuing this, everyday, indefinitely, makes me ill.  One other worry is future children.  Are they going to feel cheated if I don't take a picture every day of their first year?  Am I going to have to do the first years of all of my children?

My computer has a program that organizes your photos, and I can see all of the photos I have taken in the last 12 months.  Right now that group is at 4,867 photos... and that's not including the ones I've deleted.  That's around 400 photos a month.  And I've missed 47 days.  So, it's time consuming, not to mention the videos, editing, and writing.

Obviously, it sounds like I want to stop.  But I almost want people to tell me, "No! Keep going!" because I am sick and demented maybe.  Or maybe it's just that the thought of losing even a few days of Jane's childhood to the void makes me so sad.  She lights up my life and I want to remember everything, every giggle and babble and step and smile.  The messes of baby food and splashes in the tub and trips in the car.

What's a mother to do?

4 comments:

Ross and Kathy said...

I WANT TO SEE THE 4867 PHOTOS - WHERE ARE THEY - I MUST SEE THEM - NOW! just kidding.
We have loved every photo this year, Thank You So Much. How about a "Weekly Jane" without restrictions. You've created a habit so it will probably be second nature. Just try to remember Dad & Kathy way down in SoCal wondering how the grandkids are. ;-)

Jacque said...

lol It's the same for me and scrapbooking. I've decided to do a "baby book" of each kid's first year and then lump the older photos in with the family books. Makes it simpler. And I know each kid will have their own special book. Now when to get that done . . . . I think you've done a great job capturing precious moments. There will be many more, but you don't have to do every day, just when something strikes you. =)

D & C said...

I agree with Jacque. Jane will only walk for, say, two weeks -- then she'll RUN!!! And life will get even more hectic, and it'll be even harder to take still pictures. I've enjoyed your entries and the pictures too. Try to simplify. Do what's easiest for you.:)

amy jo said...

Hey I think it is awesome you have done this for Jane and so commendable. She, of course, has so much more growing to do but it does start to slow down and happen more gradually. I think that you could capture her stages still now with more periodic posts if it is wearing you out. Any big 1st birthday plans?